Back on the horse…

It’s been just over two months since my brother-in-law passed and it feels like just yesterday. Some days are better than others, but most times I ride the wave of emotions throughout the day. My creativity and motivation disappeared, as well as my focus and energy. Day after day I sat in front of my computer, typing and re-typing words that just didn’t make sense. When I got a moment of clarity, I’d realize what I wrote made no sense and would have to delete it, so I just stopped. The flow of creativity had stopped and imposter syndrome crept in through the tiny opening I had left for emotions other than grief. Getting rejections didn’t help improve my mood or my motivation to write, so I stopped querying. Had it not been for #Pitmad, I wouldn’t have had something to pull me from my writing slump. A few agents liked my pitches, some who had liked the previous #pitmad, and passed, and some new ones. It was just enough to really pep up my spirits and get me back on the horse.

Then came the Netflix movie, “Julie and the Phantoms.” The gist of the movie is that Julie, a teenager unable to play music after her mother’s passing, befriends a trio of Phantoms who help her regain her love of music. The first song Julie musters up the courage to play is called, “Wake Up,” and in it she says,

“Wake up your dream and make it true Look out, look inside of you
It's not what you lost
Relight that spark time to come out of the dark.”

This hit me right in the feels. Tears poured from my eyes as I sang the song with her and found my spark relit. The scales that kept my fingers from creating beautiful sentences were washed away with the cleansing tears. Now I’m getting ready for #Pitchwars and working on my second book.

Whatever is holding you back from making your dream come true, WAKE UP. It’s right in front of you, and all you need to do is go for it.

P.S. Go watch Julie and the Phantoms. It’s AMAZING, and I need them to have a second season lol. K thanks.

<3 Tobie.