Beta Readers

Thank you so much for being part of my journey! Here’s some basic information on the manuscript, to see if it’s the sort of story you’d be interested in!

The Basics:

THE INVESTMENT is a steamy, enemies to lover’s work romance. It deals with heavy material, M/F, first person, told in dual POV, open door sex, high steam level.

Query:

For as long as she can remember, 30yo financial advisor Stella Daniels has taken care of everyone but herself. She thought she’d be further in her career, married and well on the way to having kids by now. But with the responsibility of being a caretaker for her brother and grandpa and a long-term boyfriend who just can’t seem to commit, Stella is at her breaking point when she meets the arrogant Mr. Brooks while helping at her grandparent’s funeral home.

Wealth investment manager Jameson Brooks is at the top of his game—almost. With the new CFO position opening at work, and a father he can’t seem to please, the pressure to perform drives Jameson back to old habits with a blade in his hand. When he’s tasked with firing twenty people before the New Year, he calls in the lowest-performing consultants, not expecting to come face to face with the feisty woman who yelled at him during his mother’s cremation.

With a deadline over their heads and an attraction that won’t subside, Jameson and Stella must decide whether to stay in the comfortable lives they’re used to or invest in the lives they deserve.

Content Warnings: These are the triggers I want you to be aware of before you read. If you encounter any other triggering aspects, please inform me so I can add them to the list. I appreciate your feedback and do not want to upset you in any way. I apologize in advance if you are triggered by something I’ve missed. Please do not continue if you feel uncomfortable with the content.

Self-harm (Ch 12.)

Flashback of abuse (Ch. 19)

Mention of drug use and overdosing/death. (Not MC)

Open-door sex

What I’m looking for:

Proofreading- Misspellings, punctuation errors, sentences that make no sense. Echoing phrases (have I said the same thing multiple times through?) I want to know.

Dialogue- Do any parts seem awkward or unnatural?

Pacing- Were there any parts that lagged, or you felt should be drawn out more?

Characters- Did you understand the characters’ motivations? Did anything seem out of character?

Setting- Were there any places you didn’t feel grounded? Any places you wanted more description?

Overall story- Did you enjoy it? Favorite Characters? Any other issues or suggestions?

Comps: Any comps that come to mind with regard to style, theme, voice, heat level, etc? My current comps are The Hating Game by Sally Throne, and The Spanish Love Deception by Elena Armas.           

Authors note:

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. Ideally, I’d love to get feedback by mid-February so I can edit and begin querying. If this does not fit your timeline, please let me know. Your feedback will be essential, and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this.  

Happy Reading!

Tobie

Spaghetti Thoughts

When life throws everything it has at you, how do you refocus?

The past year has without a doubt been the worst year I’ve encountered. The beginning of 2020 I was querying the first book I’d ever written. I’d never had a previous inclination to write before the moment an image popped into my head, but my fingers went to work. The story I fell in love with writing was dark, and twisted, yet light and funny. The hook received a good bit of agent attention, but as each full came back as a rejection, I realized nothing was truly different about the story. It needed something I hadn’t yet learned because I had only started writing.

Midway through last year my brother-in-law was murdered and I couldn’t focus for weeks after. Anger brewed inside me, bubbling over into how I dealt with my kids, my family, and my editing. It took awhile before I was able to really focus on writing something new because I couldn’t replace the anger I felt with something I loved. It’s a hard thing to be a mystery writer, writing about murder, when someone close to you is murdered. I felt as if I was making entertainment out of something that was painful. I had to come to terms with how I process death before I was able to return to my passion. It took a few months but I was finally able to sit down and write a story that was close to my heart. My Clue story(currently querying.)

I was chugging along on edits and had just started querying when I found out I’d miscarried our third child a day before my husband had to leave for a month long training. I had complications and ended up back in the hospital in the worst pain I’d ever felt. I spent a month just trying to focus on editing and getting my manuscript tidy instead of processing the loss I was going through, and life through another bombshell at me.

My 36 year old special needs brother passed away from something that was completely preventable. I still can’t process the anger I feel at the negligence of his passing. He was the type of person you could meet once and you just knew if you saw him again that he would remember and have a big smile and hug for you. As a teenager I resented having to take care of him when my parents had to work, but as I matured, I grew to love hearing his voice ask me one million questions. His syndrome, Prader- Willi, was characterized by no impulse control, which resulted in tons of hilarious moments I’ll keep close to my heart and retell my kids when they’re older.

It’s been about three weeks since his passing and I’m still so angry that I can’t really focus on my third MS. I’m angry that my mom lost a son and that I lost a brother. Both my husband and I, and our moms, lost a brother and a child within one calendar year and it’s heartbreaking. It’s heartbreaking that I can’t find peace in the one thing I love. My writing.

I know this entire post sounds like spaghetti thoughts, but I just had to get it out of my brain! I had to say that I HATED 2020 and 2021(even though it’s not over yet.) But, there’s light coming around the corner. I have to believe that.

Psalm 30:5 NKJV

Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.

Tobie <3

One in Four

Tomorrow I become one in four.

I never thought I’d say those words.

I’ve typed and retyped what I want to say, but I just don’t have it in me.

Imposter

Imposter syndrome. I have it!

I was so excited to finish my first MS and get into the querying trenches, but now I am working through my next MS and feeling a little apprehensive. What if I can’t write another 80k novel? What if it sucks? Everyone is so much better than me. Why can’t I write beautifully like them? So many useless questions to ask, but somehow they still find a way to weasel their way into the core of my brain. The one place that is vulnerable to shame and sadness.

Back on the horse…

It’s been just over two months since my brother-in-law passed and it feels like just yesterday. Some days are better than others, but most times I ride the wave of emotions throughout the day. My creativity and motivation disappeared, as well as my focus and energy. Day after day I sat in front of my computer, typing and re-typing words that just didn’t make sense. When I got a moment of clarity, I’d realize what I wrote made no sense and would have to delete it, so I just stopped. The flow of creativity had stopped and imposter syndrome crept in through the tiny opening I had left for emotions other than grief. Getting rejections didn’t help improve my mood or my motivation to write, so I stopped querying. Had it not been for #Pitmad, I wouldn’t have had something to pull me from my writing slump. A few agents liked my pitches, some who had liked the previous #pitmad, and passed, and some new ones. It was just enough to really pep up my spirits and get me back on the horse.

Then came the Netflix movie, “Julie and the Phantoms.” The gist of the movie is that Julie, a teenager unable to play music after her mother’s passing, befriends a trio of Phantoms who help her regain her love of music. The first song Julie musters up the courage to play is called, “Wake Up,” and in it she says,

“Wake up your dream and make it true Look out, look inside of you
It's not what you lost
Relight that spark time to come out of the dark.”

This hit me right in the feels. Tears poured from my eyes as I sang the song with her and found my spark relit. The scales that kept my fingers from creating beautiful sentences were washed away with the cleansing tears. Now I’m getting ready for #Pitchwars and working on my second book.

Whatever is holding you back from making your dream come true, WAKE UP. It’s right in front of you, and all you need to do is go for it.

P.S. Go watch Julie and the Phantoms. It’s AMAZING, and I need them to have a second season lol. K thanks.

<3 Tobie.

Loss

People deal with loss in so many different ways. Some spiral into a dark depression, some go on with life like it never happened, and some are a mixture of both. I found myself somewhere in between this past month. Death has always followed me from a young age. I lost my best friend to Meningitis when he was five, and the hold death had on my life didn’t stop there. Cancer took my stepmom eight years ago, suicide took my grandmother when I was in middle school, and dementia is taking my grandfather currently. When you become so used to people leaving you eventually learn to cherish them each day you have them.

My brother in law was murdered the day before fourth of July by a nineteen year old boy. His sixteen and seventeen year old brothers were there and helped him get away. Thankfully, all three were caught and are charged with first degree murder, but it’s hard to reconcile the feelings of what they did and what happens next. It breaks my heart to think that while we lost a family member, their mother just lost three kids in one moment. It’s hard to wish life in prison on someone, especially when they are so young, and that is what my family has been dealing with lately. We forgive because that is what we are called to do as believers in Jesus Christ, but our human nature wants to fight against that because they took something so precious to us away.

I found myself being more angry than sad at the situation. Angry for the uncle my children will have to learn about through memories that fade, angry that he never had a chance to have kids or get married, angry that music has changed for me (He was a kick@$$ drummer), and so many other things. I don’t want to feel angry though. I am happy he is in Heaven, and I know he is getting to experience amazing things up there, but I’m mad because I don’t feel like we got enough time to experience things with him. I know that sounds selfish, but that’s human nature. It still feels surreal, like it didn’t happen, but it did.

So now I am back to the routine of every day life, but still have this anger I am carrying. Hopefully, it will dull over time.

Rejection

This past week has surely been an eye opener for many, myself included. We are focusing on issues that are bonding us together in a fight for humanity. I’ve had to deal with feelings I thought were buried so far down into my psyche that I needed a map to find them, but on the other side of it was growth.

On Twitter there was a shift toward lifting up and helping Black authors in their journey to get published. I sat for a long time before asking myself if I reached out to one of these helpers, would they think I was black enough to be worthy or would they reject me? I know that is such a sick thought to have, but it crossed my mind. I’ve been mistaken for many different races in my 30 years, and it wouldn’t surprise me if someone questioned my ethnicity again. I spoke with my husband about it and he just looked at me and told me to stop, that I didn’t need to convince anyone I was black enough. WOW. I didn’t realize that for years and years I had been so used to being seen a certain way that it became part of my identity and fear.

My fear was bore out of my upbringing. I have a black dad and a Romanian dad (who is much darker than I,) and I fear for both of them. I am a bi-racial woman with a black dad, yet I grew up with racism from both races. I was never black enough to be accepted by the black people in my high school, and I was too black to be accepted by some white people as well. I remember having friends whose parents were okay with us being friends, but didn’t want their kids dating in my race. Even though I was either too black or not black enough, it hurt the same. My kids will most likely go through the a similar situation because they are so fair skinned. Does that make it right? Absolutely not.

This week I also got my first two rejections, and I felt at peace about them. Why? Because I know that there will always be someone that my brand is not right for. Whether it is an agent who isn’t looking for a story like mine, or friends whose parents don’t agree with interracial relationships. I’m just going to keep working hard and growing. I’m rejecting anything that tells me that I am not enough, or makes me feel less than. I pray through this time of chaos that we grow as a nation and learn to love and accept one another. If we chose hate, that is all we will know, and all our legacy will be. When my kids learn about 2020 in their history books I hope they see a time of growth, acceptance, and love. If you are protesting, please stay safe and my prayers will be with you. Take care of one another, and love your neighbor. God Bless <3

Querying

Querying, Querying, Querying…that seems to be the most nerve wracking word when it comes to being a published author. I never understood this until I started querying. The pressure to choose which agents to query first, their submission guidelines, the waiting, the rejections, the list goes on. It can be a suffocating experience if you go down the rabbit hole. There are plenty of videos on YouTube about querying, and they are amazing resources to look at beforehand. I’ve watched every BookEnds Lit, IWriterly, and Alexa Donne videos about querying, and they have all taught me something different about the publishing industry.

Today I sent out my first round of queries and it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. I watched Alexa Donne’s querying strategy on YouTube before deciding who to query first. There are so many resources that you can access before you decide who to query, and sometimes it can be overwhelming! I spent my morning looking at agent response times on Query Tracker, then I looked at #MWSL to make sure the agent was still interested in what my genre is, and then last but not least, I checked Publisher’s Marketplace to see the selling history for the agents on my query list.

Once I felt like I had a solid list I went down the rabbit hole of their submission guidelines. Some wanted queries via Query Manager, and some wanted traditional email. I always get so worried with email because there is no tracking on it, but that is the name of the game. Next comes the waiting….and waiting…and waiting…

I’m an impatient person, and if becoming a writer has taught me anything, it’s that good things take time. I thought my first draft was great, and I had written it in four months. After sending it to betas and critique partners, I started realizing that I needed to slow down. I needed to wait for feedback, and in that time I was able to think of more ideas and things to really round out my story. It was in that waiting time that I grew the most as a writer. I cannot stress this enough. It is so important to have critique partners and beta readers read your work before you submit. You want to put out the best product you can, right?!

I wouldn’t have made it this far without the encouragement, constructive criticism, and support of my CP’s and Beta’s. Thank y’all so much!

Anywho, if you are down in the query trenches with me, I am rooting for you! If you are about to query, take a deep breath and dive in! If you are still in the writing process, keep chugging along, you will get there!

As always, if you have any questions or need any prayers, drop a comment! Have a blessed day!

Time

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.” -Tolstoy

I couldn’t find a better quote to show how I am feeling today. I’ve hit the point in my #wip that I am about to go in this in unknown phase, and it scares me. I feel excited about querying, but also apprehensive. I am by nature not very patient, but if writing a novel has taught me anything, it’s that patience is your friend. I don’t want to query before I am ready, but will I ever actually feel ready?

I wanted to participate in #PitDark this week, but I am waiting on feedback, therefore I’m not ready. It was a hard decision to come to, and I really had to check myself. Often times I want something to happen in my time and it ends up not being the right time. The last thing I want to do is lose my chance with an agent because I wasn’t patient, which is my struggle. Thankfully, I have an AMAZING writing friend who gives the best advice, and a husband who is honest and supportive. They reminded me that it will happen when it’s the right time and when it’s ready.

If I’ve learned anything from this whole experience of being a writer, it's PATIENCE. Agents are busy, and their slush piles are growing each day. I won’t let my one opportunity to wow an agent be ruined by my lack of patience. I will use this time to grow my writing, my relationships with my family, and myself. Have a blessed day and leave a comment if you need some prayer!

Struggling

Have you been struggling lately? I know I have been. My husband came home from deployment right after the quarantine started and it has been chaos ever since. It's dark but funny to think that I've waited almost 11 months to see my husband and now we are stuck together like sardines and in need of a break.

I've spent the last 11 months taking care of two kids, writing, and finishing up my medial coding courses. I didn't have to worry about being a wife to someone outside of being available for phone calls so it's definitely been an experience. I've had to relearn mannerisms, annoyances, routines, etc. I went from spending the majority of my time writing when I wasn't dealing with the kids, to feeling guilty for wanting to write because I haven't spent time with my husband for almost a year. It's a head trip.

What have I been doing to fix this struggle? Well I have scheduled days to edit so that I get into a routine, and it helps my family get into the same. I'm spending a little money on myself to buy a desktop and second monitor, which I need. And I am trying to be more active outside. I am a warm weather type of gal and love being outside when possible, so its easy to get bogged down when I am inside writing for hours.

What is your plan to get over the struggle? Are you going to change your day to day routine, treat yourself, or something completely different? Whatever you decide, make sure it's the best decision for yourself. Never give up on your dreams, work hard every day towards your goal. If you are in need of encouragment or prayer, drop a comment!❤

In between

The time in between when you are finished writing your novel and waiting for the final feedback from critique partners is the worst. My anxiety lives somewhere in between waiting for feedback and querying. We as writers know the anxiety that comes from querying, but can the excitement for the future overpower that? I’ve never queried before so I can’t say for sure which emotion is going to take up the space in my mind, but I’m hoping its excitement.

Everyone says our society focuses on the next thing instead of living in the present, are you guilty of this?? I know I am. My husband asked me if I was going to start working on my next book now that I’m almost ready to query this one. I wasn’t sure I could give my full attention to another book before I could say this one was 100% done, and that won’t be until I get the CP feedback. So I’ve decided to take a little mental break this week before getting the feedback and starting on a new book. I am spending time with my kids and husband, trying to live in the moment. Don’t forget every moment is a precious one that you can't get back. If you are in need of some encouragement or have a prayer request, feel free to leave a comment or shoot me an email! Love you guys and God Bless! ❤📚

Acts of service

I’ve noticed recently that my love language changed from giving gifts to acts of service. Since my husband got back from deployment I’ve been inundated with trying to finish the edits on my MS. He has made it a point to give me time to work on anything my writing requires of me, sans the kiddos. The kids love finally having daddy home and I get to focus. It has spoken wonders to my heart and filled my love tank tremendously. Having someone who believes in you and in your dreams is the most amazing thing in the world. If you have one of these people, hold on to them tightly, if you don’t, I’ll be there to cheer you on! The writing community is my family and will be a part of every big life event I have now. Also, feel free to leave a comment if you need some prayer or encouragement!! I love you guys so much!❤📚📖

Beach

Today was a beach day for our family! We only live 2.5hrs away from the beach so we decided to hop in the car and go. Of course the weather was calling for rain once we got on the road but the girls begged to “put their feet in the sand,” so I obliged. The clouds were prevalent, as was the wind, but the sun broke through the hazy cover. The sounds of the waves crashing reminded me of everytime I came up against a negative thought about my writing or a block I was having trouble getting past. It used to feel like it would never end so that I could get up and catch a breath. I’d let it swallow me whole and be incapable of writing anything, but I found a way to dig my feet into the sand so that I could stand as the waves crashed against me. That thing was the Twitter writing community. It helped me see that I wasn’t the only one encountering these issues. I wasn’t the only one that felt like a failure. You helped bring me from the darkness and my rut. Thank you.❤

3k followers

I just hit 3k followers on Twitter and I know it doesn’t seem like much in the scheme of things, its something I never imagined would happen. Its so hard to make your print in the digital world nowadays and slowly but surely its happening. Each day I connect with more and more people that have been a guiding light in my journey as a new author. I can’t thank you enough for helping me get there. Here’s to hitting 4k! Have a blessed day!

After

Yesterday was the first day I didn’t pick up my MS and it felt oddly calming. I’ve been so lost in the writing process, feeling like it would never be good enough. I was afraid to send it to my critique partners to read, fearful they would laugh at my inexperience, but I stepped off the ledge and am waiting. Waiting is the worst, isn’t it? I would have gone crazy if it wasn’t for my new writing friens Jess. She has kept me sane during this quarantine. Twitter brought us together through the writing community, and I couldn’t be more thankful. She is a sounding board when I’m unsure of my abilities and an amazing friend to have. You should all get yourself a Jess! Today I finished Verity, by Colleen Hoover, and to say it was thrilling would be an understatement. It made me feel so many emotions at once. Fear, anger, arousal, sadness, and pretty much every other emotion I can imagine as a parent and human being. Do yourself a favor and read it. Now I sit in my living room while my kids watch nickjr., trying to figure out how to make my website live so y’all can see my posts🤷‍♀️. Hopefully it works. Love y’all!

Finished.

Finally finished my first manuscript last night and sent it out to my critique partners. Now the waiting begins! I never thought I would write a novel, but here I am and it feels amazing. So today will be filled with family time and a cook out in the beautiful San Antonio weather. It’s a new day y'all.❤📚